Naruto's vent journal of awkward things
by TheOddOneIsHere
Summary: Kakashi sensei forced naruto to get a journal, so naruto is now recording, what he calls "The totally randomness of the people around me, these tails are worthy for the Ramen Gods"
1. Chapter 1

Day 1: Kakashi sensei forced me to buy a journal. I tried to ask Sakura out but instead she gave me the 'why-is-this-****-head-talking-to-me' face. Sasuke stole my ramen, so i may or may not have rasenganed him upside the face...

Day 2: Suacekay wuz heer

Day 3: I managed to get my journal back from sasuke...and I found out that Kakashi sensei had a secret crush on Iruka sensei. After that, I think Sakura just stared blankly at his face, and then walked away mumbling something about apples...

Day 4: Kakashi sensei told us that we would each cook for the next three nights...and have to deal with the horror of camping...in. the. same. area.

Day 5: Sensei cooked tonight, and you could call the food edible if you called a nearly burnt to ash rabbit and clumps of sakura's hair sticking out of it. she wasn't very happy for some reason.

Day 6: AWWW YEAH! My cooking was awesome! I made ramen, miso ramen, ramen sou-

SHUT IT! nobody liked your cooking naruto - God

Naruto, you need to not eat ramen every night - Kakashi sensei

I'm not touching that... - Sakura

Anyways, since you guys dont want it I will have all of it! HAHAHHAHA! -naruto

Day 7: Sasuke and Sakura both cooked. Its kinda hard to eat something that looks like a mix between a pink sludge and a pile of sticks...

Day 8: I STOLE THE JOURNAL! I AM THE POWERFUL AND ALMIGHTY ITACHI UCHIHA! I will give my brother more hatred...when he gets back to the UCHIHA compound, he will see my masterpiece all over the walls.

Day 9: ITACHI! why did you do that?! its not your journal its mine! - naruto, P.S, entry end!

Yes Each entry will be from 5 to 20 days long! I am only doing this because I thought it was funny. By the way, this is inspired by: Itachis Diary of Doom, by xXxTriggerxXx

Be sure to check his thingy out! Also, instead of doing it from itachis point of view, this is from naruto's point of view! and the same things really arent the same in this one as it is in the other, but hey, I didn't want to copy his/her stuff because they made the Itachi Uchiha one, so i get this one! I also dont own Naruto :(


	2. Chapter 2

Day 10: I held a vote with Kakashi sensei, Sasuke, and Sakura to decide if we should hunt Itachi down. The vote ended up being-

YOUR'E a shit head! -ITACHI UCHIHA

that we should all-

TURN INTO Itarrchee - Tobi

...How did you get here Tobi? and who is Itarrchee? also, the vote is that we should hunt down Itachi! Yeah!

Itarrchee iz mi bwest freend - Tobi

Tobi! Stop! you are giving away the secret! - Itachi

Day 11: We decided to go hunt for the Akatsuki base, and found it was actually about a mile away. Idiots. When we got there, we had to constrain Sasuke from bitch-slapping Itachi with a tomato. Then this plant dude came out, and started talking for no reason. Anyways, the Akatsuki gave us the plant dude, we even gave him a nickname! It was Weird-plant-human-thing. Weird-plant-human-thing kept saying his name was Zetsu, but we think he was actually trying to be funny.

Day 12: Eye stul Naartus jurnal! Gyz! Naartus jurnal is a furam nowz!

Don't you mean forum? - Itachi

Yeah for once i will agree with creepy dude on this one - Hidan

Bot gyz! Eye am tri in tu du a guud job! - Tobi

Give me my journal back! - Naruto

Day 13: Finally! Just got it back. They mailed it to my door step, so I have my journal back. Gai sensei and Rock Lee...we met with those two today. At first my reaction was 'Weird creepy looking homosexual guy and his weird looking homo son', because you know, they act really weird and...stuff.

That was very un-youthful! - Rock Lee

Nobody cares Lee - Sasuke

Day 15: Yesterday, I could not write because Sasuke's arm got broken, and Sakura started crying on everything, and I was unlucky enough that she noticed my journal in my arms...she grabbed it, opened it, and started crying on it and crap. That reminds me, Note to self: Never let Sakura have my journal.

Day 16: Sasuke went out today, and when he came back, he was boasting about something called Sasuke Land. When I asked him what it was, he told me his brave tail on how he defeated about 80 ants in a 500 foot square piece of grass with a fireball, and then claimed the land as his. weird-plant-human-thing was very angry at him for burning the grass, but Sasuke and Sakura both just punched him upside the face. It was epic.

Day 17: Orochimaru, some snake pedophile guy, came out of nowhere and he told us about this new land. He called it the land of Ramen. I refused to go there, since Ichiraku's ramen is a loooooot better.

(A/N)

Hai.


	3. Chapter 3

Day 18: Today Kakashi Sensei told us that there was some sort of event coming up in a few days. Sasuke ran through town today with maybe all the girls chasing him. the funny part is at the end he accidentally tripped and the girls caught him! I also have rigged my journal now so that way there are five boulders, 6 kunai, 50 senbon, and 3 bear traps guarding it. Now only I can get to it. LOL

Day 19: Think again Naruto - Genma

Day 20: Who is this Genma person?! How did he get past my traps? No matter. There is a greater crisis at hand though. Kakashi said that this so called event mentioned two days ago, is a dance competition between the chosen genin teams of the elemental nations, being held here in Konoha. as if dealing with training wasn't hard enough. I can't dance.

THEN LEARN HOW TO DANCE BIG BOI! - Konohamaru

Who are you? - naruto

Your life long rival to become the Hokage! - Konohamaru

How are you writing in my journal at the same time I am, and you aren't even at my journal? - Naruto

MAGIC - Konohamaru

Day 21: Tomorrow is the day. Also, old man jiji said that if we win we become chuunin. I should have known this was the Chuunin exams. I will become Hokage! But first I got to become a chuunin. Last thing before I end today's report, a man in a black cloak with red clouds on it, black long hair, and these lines under his eyes, walked up to me today and asked if I knew about Sasuke's obsession with Tomatoes. I told him yeah I did. So he told me how to prank Sasuke in the best way ever!

Day 22: The first round was today. Somebody from Sunagakure called Gaara had a dance battle against Rock Lee today. Gaara won, but that was because at the end he started talking to himself, and then sand shot out of nowhere and hit Lee in the nuts. Lee will probably be talking high pitch for the rest of the year. (A/N: For the dance battle scene, look up "gaara vs rock lee dance battle meme", its the top left picture on google). Other than that one between gaara and Lee, I won against somebody called Fuu, Sakura got owned by Ino, and Choji also got owned, but by Shikamaru. I didn't think we were allowed to use non-lethal jutsus in the dance battle. Interesting.

Day 23: Today is just a break from the competition, and they are going to resume it tomorrow. I pulled that prank on Sasuke though. When he got back to his home, he found all his tomatoes...SQUISHED ALL OVER HIS WALL! I was watching his reaction from outside his window...I should pull that prank more often! his reaction was priceless! And-

SO IT IS YOU WHO DID IT - Sasuke

Um...yeah...BUT IT WAS EPIC - Naruto

So?! I will freaking chidori slap you on the face! - Sasuke

The guy who screamed like a four year old who just found out his puppy died is going to chidori slap me? I dont think so - Naruto

Just you wait...tomatoes will have their revenge...I will avenge them... - Sasuke

Day 24: For this day, I have bad news, good news, and more good news. Bad news: I had to dance against Sasuke. Good news: He lost. More good news: I didn't get in trouble for using shadow clones to win. Also, weird black cloak and red clouds guy from before talked to me again. He said his name was Itachi Uchiha. Despite what happened in my much earlier entries, I think we will become good friends. In two days, the final rounds begin. I will list who is against who below, but just so I can remember.

Me against the Gaara guy, Shikamaru vs Ino, Weird blond four pig tails and fan-wielding girl vs Sasuke, and lastly somebody called Kurotsuchi against Kiba. I nicknamed Kiba "Mr. Kibbles". I don't think he likes that.

Day 25: I met one of the legendary Sannin. Sure, you think "WHICH ONE! HOW AWESOME WERE THEY?" and stuff like that. First, it was Jiraiya the toad sage. I gave him the name Pervert Sage. Because seriously, who becomes that strong just so they can peak at girls in hot-springs and write erotic novels like Icha-icha?! He is very disappointing.

Day 26: I won the dance thingy, and I am chuunin now! YEAH! But i seriously hate the fact that we had to dance for it. Also, after what happened this morning, the list of things not allowed in my house are: Annoying tomato obsessed emo guys, cats that have a white stripe on their tails, and magic floating and talking ties. You see, earlier Sasuke jumped through one of my windows, and out another, with a black cat chasing him, it had one white stripe on its tail, and a magic floating/talking tie chasing the cat. They left behind a huge mess, and- THEY FREAKING SPILLED MY RAMEN ON THE FLOOR! THEY WILL PAY! I now need to ask Itachi for another prank.

A/N: Hello! I know this entry was weird, but I plan to make all of them weird. I'm a weird person, so i make everything i do weird. If I can't be normal (I don't know how to do that), then I will be as weird as I can be! If you have any complaints please let me know. Or just put whatever you feel like in the review thingamijiggy. Its your choice what you put in it. If you have any ideas though that you think are funny that I should add in later entries, please let me know because I'm kinda running out of ideas...and now I'm still talking for no reason, which kinda makes this even more awkward...So I will stop the torture of awkwardness and see you guys later! Though I can't really see you guys because you guys are looking at this from a laptop or computer or something, and-

Niko: SEVVY! SHUT UP!

Why?

Niko: You already said bye, (turns to the readers) Im going to take Sevvy off your hands for now guys!

No!

Niko: Yes! (Picks up Sevvy and throws him to the other side of the planet) There, now bye!


	4. Chapter 4

Day 27: Itachi has given me the ultimate prank. All I have to do now for about a week before I can set it up, then another few days before I set it off.

What are you talking about? - Sasuke

Shut up Sasuke, and get outta my journal before I get you with a rasengan - Naruto

Lol no. Why did Itachi give you a prank and who are you going to prank? - Sasuke

You shall find out in a week and a half - Naruto

Day 28: We, team seven, have voted for a new team name. We are now team duckies! Slowly, I shall rise to leader just as Itachi did in the Akatsuki. Also, a new genin just got placed on our team of duckies, despite the fact that normally there are only three genin on a team instead of four. His name is Niko. I already hate this dude. He does not talk, and he got lucky in a spar between he and I. I will set up prank number 23: the paint bomb, so that way he won't mess with me again.

Day 29: HE TURNED MY PRANK AGAINST ME! I was there when he set it off, but before the balloon filled with paint hit his head, he grabbed it and chucked it at me. Now I have freaking yellow and pink paint all over me :(

Day 30: I, Uchiha Itachi, have taken this book. I will trade it back to Konoha in return that they give me all the tomatoes.

Itachi pls give it back - Naruto

Sorry Naruto, but this is a hostage situation. If you agree to go along with it, I will get you free ramen for a year- Itachi

DEAL! - Naruto

Day 31: Konoha has agreed to the deal, but only because they think there are secrets about Konoha inside this journal that they do not want spilled to outsiders. However, after going through this, I have not found any important information. The only good information is that Naruto is following my example, and will become leader of the Konoha duckies.

Day 32: YEAH! I got my journal back! The deal went down today. Weird-Plant-Human-Thing tried to convince Itachi to take him back with Itachi, but Itachi told him that the Akatsuki already have a tree ready for Christmas, even though its the middle of summer. Itachi owes me a year of ramen!

Day 33: Today, Team Duckies was assigned a B rank mission to the Cloud Village. I am looking forward to this because Killer Bee is there! His rap is awesome! Anyways, the duckies head out in the morning, and we have to take down some dude who has been going around and stealing people's chairs for no reason. We think it is because he plans to build a chair version of the Armageddon.

Day 34: We are in Cloud Village now, and we already caught the thief. But only after we beat him in battle! I was awesome!

Naruto, you did almost nothing in that fight. Niko did - Kakashi Sensei

What do you mean?! What about that part were I sucker punched him in the gut?! - Naruto

That was at the end of the fight, after he was already beaten. You need to spend less time praying to the ramen gods - Kakashi Sensei

\- (A/N) -

Hai. Yes Naruto prays to ramen gods. Just don't tell him that they are fake. Last time somebody did that, he went ape-shit crazy and Sakura had to make him fall asleep with a frying pan, and that frying pan connected to his head. He is still alive or else he would not be alive to write the entries. Sevvy, out!


	5. Chapter 5

Day 35: Ugh...today, we finally found Sasuke's sexuality. According to Kakashi sensei, Sasuke was in the forest with a pretty hot lady, and he wanted her to go away. So now I have dubbed him as "Sauce Gay". I need to avoid him. I shall tell the other duckies to avoid him too.

Day 36: HELP...I think i said something wrong to Sakura today, and she has been trying to kill me for the past three hours...I am hiding right now...What did I do wrong?

You made a reference to my period! thats what! now where are you so I can ****** **** ***** to the ****** ground! - A very angry Sakura

Um...I am nowhere and everywhere - Naruto

THATS IT I WILL DESTROY ICHIRAKU RAMEN STAND - Most pissed off girl in all the elemental nations, A.K.A, Sakura

NOOOOOO - Naruto

Day 38: Ok, I apologize for skipping yesterday, but Sakura found me, and she had me go through a living hell of training...lets hope I never have to go through that again, because it was very -

PAINFUL? DONT WORRY YOU JUST GOT IT EASY YESTERDAY! TODAY IS YOUR REST DAY! YOU SHOULD BE MORE WORRIED ABOUT TOMORROW! MUWHAHAHAHHA - Sakura

Erm...whoever is reading this, before I die tomorrow, I want Itachi to know that I had a bunch of paint bombs ready for Sasuke, and I want Hinata to know that even though her stalking is kind of creepy I appreciate it - Naruto

Day 39: OW OW OW! My everything hurts from today...Note to self: Never tell any woman anything remotely related to their period...They get Kushina level scary...and that means its a total nightmare...Anyways...We are going to be on an A - rank mission in a few days...our job is to assassinate some perverted guy who keeps kid-napping ladies and selling the, to slave traders. Just from the description we were given of him...I already want to pound this guy into pulp. Nobody does that sort of thing and gets away with it when I hear about it!

But Hidan did it once and got away with it - Pain

Shut up Pain! Don't tell the orange brat about me! - Hidan

Too late you zombie thing - Daidara

Wait...I will destroy you too then - Naruto

HA! Like you could destroy me! I will destroy you! - Hidan

I will put giant weights on your arms and legs and throw you in river. You can't die, so you will be fine, but you will be very, very, VERY uncomfortable - Naruto

Thank you for your help Naruto. As a reward, I shall send you new scrolls on how to make seals. We have been looking for a way to get rid of Hidan - Konan

What...why guys?! - Hidan

Tobi is a good boy! - Tobi

Day 40: I put Hidan in the bottom of a lake with weights on his hands and feet...They were so heavy that Team 7, 8, 9, and 10 could not lift them...combined. He deserves that, especially after what he did, not to mention the fact that he is an S ranked criminal who steals innocent children's ramen! Nobody should have to endure through that torture.

Day 41: The ramen gods have commanded that I start converting others to Ramenkagure, the religion of the powerful and almighty ramen gods! So far so good, there is already 7 other members! They are my clones named Tsucho, Kiro, Henderson, Billy, Bob, Ezra, and Fillahabanero!

What kind of name is Fillahabanero? It sounds like Filler habanero... - Kakashi Sensei

I like it...Let me get a bit closer Naruto - Sauce Gay

No Gay man...back the **** off...I am straight... -Naruto

I thought since you liked trains that we could, you know... - Sauce Gay

O_O ...*Backs away slowly* Sauce Gay, if you do that anymore, I will personally rasengan your nuts, so back the **** off - Naruto

For once I agree with knuckle head on this one - Sakura

Day 42: Nothing happened much today...Just running from gay man...alerting all his fan girls to where he was so he would run from them instead...and training. I think my plan to come to power over the duckies is coming along nicely. Soon, I will be the leader of the duckies!

Good...Good Naruto...keep doing what I told you and you shall be leader of the duckies - Almighty Itachi

Yes sir! I shall become the leader of the duckies! - Naruto

\- (A/N) -

Hai. I don't have anything to say. When Naruto becomes leader of the duckies, I shall give him a free ramen bowl. I like duckies.

I am a good boy! Tobi is a good boy! Tobi likes turtles! - Tobi

Ok Tobi we know that, now please can you -

NO! Tobi likes duckies too! Tobi has to stay to watch over the duckies! - Tobi

Fine, as long as you say the disclaimer, although its a bit late for that...

OK! Tobi is a good boy and Sevvy does not own any naruto characters! Tobi likes duckies! - Tobi

Anyways, Sevvy, out!


End file.
